When I was in my 20’s I “got” a woolworths credit card in order to buy clothing to wear to my new job as a sales assistant in a high end clothing boutique. I had gone to the interview in a half circle long dark green skirt I’d made out of extremely bad quality fabric, but coupled with my doc martens, an old black turtle neck top, great make-up and a dynamic smile …which were the only items vaguely “presentable” in my alternatively gothic and bohemian wardrobe. (I am a bit of a chameleon and rarely flow in one direction in terms of style).
But back to the VERY bad decision to obtain a credit card. I was so excited to be able to buy things and of course I simply HAD to buy my recently acquired husband fantastic woolies meals, gifts etc. Naive is an understatement for my state of mind. I have a really generous heart and bought friends lovely little gifts. What I had ZERO concept of is that I would be paying off those purchases for YEARS.
I eventually realised that my Dad had been right when he said “If you can’t pay cash for it …you simply cannot afford it”. It took me years of hard work and “living lean” to get rid of debt.
Looking at the debt as money owed ….and knowing how hard it is to earn the money is very discouraging for me. However … I found that looking at the list as “mere numbers that needed to be knocked back to zero” turned the burdensome mountain into a rather “fun” game… a challenge to be overcome with my usual zest. When I finally “killed” all debts I was ecstatic. No more chains …just freedom.
So you can imagine my absolute frustration when I recently (July 2018) found myself responsible for a rather large amount of unexpected payments.
Thinking of the money owed and how incredibly difficult it is to generate an income when you are in a weak emotional and mental state, can be overwhelming, but God and I are a majority. When I am weak He is strong. I am fortunate to have very supportive siblings and a few very close very committed close friends.
At first I could not face ALL the bills. So I took the most urgent 3 and started with them. Each day I worked and trusted God to bring in the finance. Some days were great and I was able to pay my “little bits” to each of the 3. Some days there was nothing and I felt discouraged, but my supporters urged me on, congratulating me for each victory. Thus the numbers reduced and I was eventually able to bring new bills into the firing line. Numbers …just numbers to be “zero’ed”.
As these numbers are wiped off my board I sense the wind picking up …freedom is in the air …and I will fly again.
For real: they were just silly numbers that stressed me out …
just numbers on a list.
Owe no man anything but LOVE.